Ladies,

We, men thought we had an understanding but, let me tell you, some of you are ruining it for all of us. Apparently, some women found yet another way to drive us men crazy. Sure, this did not just happen yesterday but it did happen slowly, steadily and now increasingly. More and more of us men are getting girled every weekend.

Remember that we, men, started the whole sport thing for 2 reasons. First, we had to control our instinctive desire to kill. Indeed our long standing mission to protect you and to feed you had developed our thirst for fighting and killing. Since opportunities to actually fight and kill legally are running thin these days, sport became our only resort to satisfy our inner beast. Second, we had to find a way to show you how strong and skillful we were. Sport became the way to simply help you chose the right mate based on worthiness as smooth talking and a few beers were clearly not enough to close the deal; not to mention that dragging you by the hair to the next cave had become illegal too. So you see, sport was clearly created as a guy thing and as a pillar for our human society.

This was easy enough it appeared. You, women only had to stay out of it and let us believe that we were just better than you were. Sure, a few compliments from time to time on how strong and skillful we were would have made it even better. In all fairness many of you have understood that and had played your role perfectly but some…not so much.

As a result of the actions of these few deviants, conversations of elite runners after the finish line are not what they used to be. Long gone is the time when it was, “Good race man! You really showed us who the man was today!” Now the loud talks have been replaced by whispers “How many times did you get girled today?” Yes women! That’s how it is these days and it ain’t right.

I, like many other runners, start my races scared nowadays. I go out hopeful but inevitably after a few miles, I enter the girled zone. It invariably starts with the hysterical screams of women supporters and then one woman passes me and then another one and then another one… After that, the sobbing comes and after that I feel numb inside.

If all this was not enough, you, women have to do it with charm. A few weeks back, I raced the Healthy Kidney 10K in Central Park. I had to run the first 2 miles mostly uphill in 10’55 just to keep pace with the group of leading women. Then, when I finally let go, it was to be passed by Ana Morales. I mentioned Ana because I had already been girled by her 2 years before (see picture). Since then, I have worked hard and have made much progress. Enough I thought that it could not happen again. It was wishful thinking. This time, Ana girled me so fast that there won’t even be pictures of it. What hurts most though is that she did it with the most graceful stride I’ve ever seen. I was there fighting and running like a logger (not that loggers are not graceful in their own way), she simply and elegantly danced by me. After that, I lost heart and did not even bother passing the finish line.

I don’t want to blame it on Ana and the likes but I can only explain the drop in birthrate by the increasing rate at which we, men are getting girled. This is a cry to save humanity ladies. Is racing that important to you as to jeopardize the future of the human race? Please be reasonable, it is not too late.

Pascal,